Not enough love songs talk about how difficult it is to be a consistently loving person.
James Baldwin put it plainly:
Love has never been a popular movement. And no one's ever wanted, really, to be free. The world is held together, really it is held together, by the love and the passion of a very few people. Otherwise, of course, you can despair. Walk down the street of any city, any afternoon, and look around you.
What you've got to remember is, what you're looking at is also you. Everyone you're looking at is also you. You could be that person. You could be that monster, you could be that cop. And you have to decide, in yourself, not to be.
The truth hurts. I could be that monster — and in my loveless moments I have been. In those moments, I’ve retreated into a defensive crouch instead of extending myself on anyone’s behalf, including my own. Being a genuinely loving person is no walk in the park. If it were, nobody would refer to their efforts to grow in love as “work.”
Walking the dark path through one’s own lovelessness is work. And there’s no way out of the darkness of lovelessness other than the path that runs straight through it. It’s impossible to grow in love without confronting one’s failures at loving.
That’s why lovelessness makes so many appearances on the new record. More specifically, a number of its songs address a typically masculine presentation of lovelessness — its frozen and stunted qualities.
Is there a mea culpa in there? Yes there is. Is there a frustration with the varieties of male cluelessness that negatively affect everyone, including men themselves? Also yes.
In case you missed it, the first single from New Love Stories is streaming over on Bandcamp (where you also can preorder the album). The song’s narrator is a man whose capacity to love got stuck in time.
We’re doing a giveaway today! A winner will be picked at random from all entrants and will receive a signed copy of New Love Stories in the format of their choice — CD, vinyl, or poster — along with a free digital download. Here are the rules of the game:
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In the comments below, fill in the blank in this sentence:
When I was younger, I used to _________________, but I came to see the lovelessness in that.
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Me, too. Me, too to both parts of that. Thanks for showing up here, Lisa.
When I was younger, I used to put myself last, but I came to see the lovelessness in that.